Ever wonder why beautiful, intelligent and seemly reasonable women are attracted to men that have heartbreak written all over them. Like Jennifer Aniston’s character in the new movie Loves Happens, always dating men with “expiration dates.”
A new book by South Florida author sheds light on this phenomenon of women attracted to unavailable men. Dawn Maslar M.S. says she has the key to healing painful relationship patterns in her new book The Broken Picker Fixer From heartbreak to Soulmate: Finding the Love You Desire in 12 Weeks or Less.
Dawn explains that many women have a “broken picker.” A broken picker is an attraction to men that are not right from them. Robin Norwood described this attraction in her classic book Women Who Love Too Much. She states “many women become obsessed with the wrong men - men who are emotionally unavailable, addicted to work, alcohol, or other women – men who cannot love them back.”
The book was created as a result of the author’s personal experiences. After many years of struggling with on-again off-again relationships, Dawn found herself at an emotional bottom. She had to come to grips with her own broken GPS (Guy Picking System). She learned that an attraction to men who treated you badly or are not emotionally available is an indication that a part of you needs to be healed. That no amount of changing your outside circumstances such as behaving differently, dressing differently, or picking different men was going to fix a broken picker. What was needed was an inside change.
He unique insists have created a fresh new approach to an age old problem. This is a must read for any women struggling with relationships.
The book is currently available on-line at Amazon books or at www.brokenpickerfixer.com
Showing posts with label bad relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bad relationships. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Broken pickers love cookie monsters?
We just love the cookie monster because he is so sweet and yummy; we could just eat him up. We look at him the same way we stare at a bakery window, wanting and salivating, imaging what it would be like when we get our little cookie home. Just like a real cookie, he is delicious and satisfying for the moment, but is not very good for us in the long run. The problem with the cookie monster is that he doesn’t reciprocate. He’s love’s equivalent to empty calories.
We adore the cookie monster so much; we can’t believe he’s just throwing us saccharine little crumbs. So we make excuses for him, “oh he’s so sweet,” or “poor thing, he’s just sacred.” Our girlfriends tell us to give him time. We fear if we push him to much he’ll crumble. So we wait and hope, taking whatever little morsel he decides to meter out to us.
Sometimes we say enough is enough. We may decide we deserve more or we are going to get healthy. We may even declare that we are going to stop our cookie consumption and find a more nourishing diet. But, the allure of the cookie is difficult release. When we try to leave we go through a type of sugar withdrawal. The obsessive thoughts begin. We forget how unhealthy it is and just remember how warm and sweet and scrumptious it was. The obsessive craving draws us back. The next thing we know we are on another wild cookie spree.
After a bad cookie binge we end up feeling fat, stupid and ashamed of our behavior. We walk away feeling bewilder because he looked so good, seemed so sweet how would we ever know he would be so bad for us. The cookie monster can be the most painful of all. He can do a number on our minds, bodies and souls.
So why are we so attracted to cookie monsters? New York bestselling author Janet Woititz explains in book The Intimacy Struggle, “when we grow up and look for our own partner, on some level we are attracted to people who remind us of the people who raised us. Because our sense of abandonment and disconnectedness experienced in our family of origin teaches us as children to be quiet, alone, needless, and wantless – so as not to bother our parents – we are later unconsciously attracted to people who don’t try to attach to us very much. You are grateful when the person throws you a crumb, but get bored quickly with the one who is available all the time.”
We adore the cookie monster so much; we can’t believe he’s just throwing us saccharine little crumbs. So we make excuses for him, “oh he’s so sweet,” or “poor thing, he’s just sacred.” Our girlfriends tell us to give him time. We fear if we push him to much he’ll crumble. So we wait and hope, taking whatever little morsel he decides to meter out to us.
Sometimes we say enough is enough. We may decide we deserve more or we are going to get healthy. We may even declare that we are going to stop our cookie consumption and find a more nourishing diet. But, the allure of the cookie is difficult release. When we try to leave we go through a type of sugar withdrawal. The obsessive thoughts begin. We forget how unhealthy it is and just remember how warm and sweet and scrumptious it was. The obsessive craving draws us back. The next thing we know we are on another wild cookie spree.
After a bad cookie binge we end up feeling fat, stupid and ashamed of our behavior. We walk away feeling bewilder because he looked so good, seemed so sweet how would we ever know he would be so bad for us. The cookie monster can be the most painful of all. He can do a number on our minds, bodies and souls.
So why are we so attracted to cookie monsters? New York bestselling author Janet Woititz explains in book The Intimacy Struggle, “when we grow up and look for our own partner, on some level we are attracted to people who remind us of the people who raised us. Because our sense of abandonment and disconnectedness experienced in our family of origin teaches us as children to be quiet, alone, needless, and wantless – so as not to bother our parents – we are later unconsciously attracted to people who don’t try to attach to us very much. You are grateful when the person throws you a crumb, but get bored quickly with the one who is available all the time.”
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